I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
