It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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