the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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