sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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