I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
