who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
