"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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