Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
