If that was your dad, he is hot
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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