Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
there is glitter all over my balls
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
