Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
