i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
