I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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