I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
no, he came in my armpit
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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