Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
