perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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