Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
