Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
