I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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