I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
