No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
