i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
