Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
