ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
