She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize