clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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