my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
