Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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