why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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