Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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