How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize