Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
