Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
