How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
