Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
