And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
