No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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