i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
one might say we're banned from that church
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
