there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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