Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
