oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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