They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
