She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
