Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
