I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
