i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have tasted many bathrooms
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
