A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
