If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
