I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
