Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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