No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
