what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
