I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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