She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
