Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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