Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
