just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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