brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
