I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
