So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
