I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
