just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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