Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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