I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
