I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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