no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
