i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize